Today, my kids and I plopped on the edge of the driveway and watched rusty garbage trucks pick up cans. We shucked corn (learned what the silk is), found the seed of a grape, pounded down pie crust, made snakes out of play dough.
These examples are cute, but said in the negative, our lives sound pretty lame.
My kids have never seen a circus. They rarely watch movies, and wouldn’t know a Ferris wheel if they saw it. They’ve never been to a concert, a kids’ play. Geez, they’ve never even been rollerskating or bowling.
Their toys (aside from a few grandparent gifts) aren’t the latest and greatest. We don’t have season tickets to anywhere, and I’m way behind on my bucket list of museums and field trips.
We live simple, boring lives for many reasons.
And there are many reasons.
I don’t want to pretend I’ve created this adept philosophy for minimalist, simplistic living and stuck to it through years of temptation.
The truth is, I’m a homebody.
Another truth is, money doesn’t grow on trees around here. In fact, it hardly grows in the bank.
And yet the other truth. The one most of you could never understand, or even pretend to. Having a child with severe food allergies puts a terrifying cloud over many “normal” activities.
For many reasons, it’s just easier to stay home.
And even though I daydream sometimes about introducing them to Disneyland, creating castles with pristine, new Legos or decorating their room in Pottery Barn prints and quilts – heck, even Target’s would work – even though I often find myself wishing my kids had more…
I’ve discovered something as a result of living simply with kids.
They like it.
Dare I even say it? They need it.
Let me tell you about my childhood. The one I loved dearly, that shaped me, that gave me wings and roots and the best cousins and siblings and aunts and uncles you’ve ever imagined.
Simply put, we were poor, or close.
As little ones, cheerios were a special snack. We got them at church. We got one pair of shoes, and wore ’em out. When we were bored, we painted with water on the porch. The best nights were spent swinging deep into the sky on a splintery old swing set.
And we spent our most favorite days at “the farm” – a family ranch of sorts with lightning bugs flitting, strawberries and apples to pick, big, knotty trees perfect for forts and climbing, the occasional Maryland crab picking, and umpteen games of flag football, flashlight tag, and army vs. navy (which I don’t think I really ever understood, but that’s okay).
We rarely went anywhere “fun,” unless you count the old country store where they sold duck calls and live bait.
We spent our afternoons chatting with lots of people who weren’t “our age.” They were younger, or way older, with wrinkles, or smoking habits, or whom you loved just because you knew them.
It was diversity way before diversity was cool.
We just ran, itched mosquito bites, and rode bikes along shady paved roads.
It was a glorious, wonderful life.
You probably remember it too, don’t you? Even if the places and faces were different… I know you didn’t have a favorite iPad app and your toys were mostly simple.
I know that, like me, the most beautiful things you remember were the weirdly simple ones.
You, too, right?
Yet we forget.
If you’re reading now, I want you to take a deep breath. Really, do it. Maybe another?
Because this isn’t another must. We have enough of those, don’t we? Cleaning musts, and budget I’ll-get-better-ats, and marriage work-on-its. This isn’t a judgement, or a criticism. If you’re able to do and go, and you all like it – by all means.
I’ve written this post for months in my head, and each time, I stop. It sounds too perfect, too do-what-we-do. That’s not at all what I’m saying. I’m far from a perfect mother…I get angry, I struggle with concentrating on my kids, I worry. Oh, boy, do I worry.
And the thing is, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with special dates and places every once in a while.
But if you need it, this, my fellow mama, is permission to not. To not buy it, to not go there, to not sign up for it, or pin it, or feel guilty you aren’t. It’s okay.
Here’s your sign – you can get off the ride called “crazy” if you want to.
Of course you know I’m not saying it’s all resting and relaxing. Motherhood, done right, is hard.
But do the right jobs.
Be busy at the right kind of busy.
Stay home, if you want. Look at puzzles, and cloud swirls, and old books on the shelf. Bake dinner, your own dinner, and give the kids pots and pans.
Let them stay home. And let them be little, and bored, and simple. I promise – they’ll turn out okay.
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Love this!!!
Totally agree. We got in the habit of staying home more often during my pregnancies and now with the three of them, it’s just easier. But while my kids have never been to a play, they’re great at making pillow & blanket forts or crawling around the house with blankets on their backs, pretending to be turtles. So yeah, I’m OK with that!
Ha! I could totally see my kids playing that game!!
YES. Don’t be afraid to say this. The simple life is the good life.
When I was little, a fun snack was graham crackers and cream cheese. Maybe apple slices with “caramel dip”: cream cheese, brown sugar and cinnamon.
When I was little, the coolest toys were my brother’s legos and plastic toy soldiers. The most fun I had was dressing up as Laura Ingalls Wilder and playing outside (when I was a bit older, in the playhouse my dad built). We didn’t go to amusement parks much, maybe once every couple years. I’ve never been to Disneyland (or world). We didn’t have fancy-decorated bedrooms.
And you know what? That’s EXACTLY what I want for my kids. I don’t want their toys to be ones that use electricity until they’re at least five. Older, preferably. The best toys when I was little were blocks, dolls, trucks, stuffed animals, outside toys. That was the cool stuff. My favorite dress-up outfits were homemade ones, or hand-me-downs (I had scrubs from my aunt who’s a doctor, and she made me the prettiest princess dress EVER).
That’s the kind of childhood I want my future children to have, and my husband agrees!
Don’t ever be ashamed of having a simple life. There is so much good in that, so much value. And the less we focus on the things of this world–physical things, no matter what they are–we can focus ourselves and our children on what really matters: JESUS.
Keep it up, mama!
Love this! What a blessing your comment was to me…I’m over here scared people will think I’m a crazy woman! 😉
Love this article…well said! The simple life is great but so hard in some ways in today’s world which is all about the latest, greatest, and fastest ways of doing things. It’s a cycle, and if you get in it, it is simply hard to get out. I desire the simple life and hope that we can deliver it in a way that causes appreciation for the simple things and time together as a family. After all, it is usually the simplest toy or task that seems to be the ONE that keeps the child entertained the most! I also hope that the big things when we do them will seem huge and provide wonder and appreciation too.
The greatest memories from my childhood are remembered through sounds, smells and sight! It was a lot of outdoor time and an indoor day was usually pure turmoil for my Mom who knew we loved the outdoors! Every outdoor day was with all the neighborhood kids at our house or on the gigantic porch (not so big now that I am older) at Ms. Nannie’s old store figuring out what we would do next. It was so good…not a care in the world!
What a blessing to see this comment from you, Christie! Thanks for those memories. We agree on so much!
This reminds me of my son, at age 3-6. When he was bored, he would play “the finger game.” Sounds incredibly pathetic. He’d pretend that 2 of his fingers were a “guy” and he’d create an adventure wherever he happened to be. It’s not like we didn’t have toys. He just happened to have an imagination. I loved it every time I saw him playing the finger game. 🙂 Simple things feel good on your soul.
LOL I can see Sam doing that game! 🙂
I’m so with you, Jessica. I’m a homebody, too. And so is Sydney. Even on vacation (believe it or not), we both miss being home. And I totally agree that kids need home time and unstructured time. This is how creativity grows…. Love the simple life!
Thanks dear friend. There’s a lot of people I’d love to blame for our simple (chaotic) life right now, and your post helped me remember…I might just choose this anyhow.
Why is this so hard to understand? I get questions like, “You’re staying home?” or, my personal favorite, “I feel bad for your kids because they don’t go anywhere?” (By “anywhere” they mean places that cost money to stand in lines for hours on end) Yet, what they fail to see is how happy, smart, and content my children are. Thank you for your post!
I feel this way more and more everyday. I’m not good at the no TV or movies, but, I am definitely good at being a homebody. And, frankly, I think my kids don’t mind it either.
I really love this post, because it reminds me of my own poor (aka rich) childhood, and the simple, happy childhood I want for my own kids some day! I’m an adventurous soul, but I love having those adventures right at home, too!