I’m obsessed with elimination diets. Which is weird, because I hate them.
My latest plan was to eliminate every speck of dairy, egg, and nuts while pregnant, just in case it meant my unborn baby wouldn’t have food allergies.
That makes perfect sense, right?
With loud weeping, I plunged into a sacrificial third trimester, shedding real tears over all the foods I was missing – pizza, egg salad, scoops of peanut butter, and The Item For Which There Is No Real Substitute: coffee creamer.
It was awful, and I never ceased to remind everyone.
I became that girl. You know, the one at parties, with an obviously-homemade vegan brownie in saran-wrap, peering over a suspiciously-creamy dip, demanding, “Does that have milk in it? I’m not eating dairy…” with a somber, hungry, caloric-deprived look.
After my daughter was born, I kept up the whole no-milk, no-egg, no-nuts craziness (just in case) and added a whole new list, because now I was nursing a little one. I watched her like a hawk, and every uncomfortable flatulence, every extra-large spit-up, every weird diaper…it was an omen. “I’m afraid something I’m eating is bothering her.” I said it so many times I think my friends and family were planning an intervention.
But how was it my fault some foods made her gassy/fussy/reflux-y/too drowsy/too awake??
I could see the oasis coming: The Days When I Wasn’t Nursing.
Oh, wouldn’t it be glorious, I’d tell me husband, and we’d daydream about a Friday-night version of Thanksgiving, where we’d eat as much pizza and beer as we wanted, shoveling in scoops of peanut butter until we passed out on the couch.
I was counting down the days.
And then it came. I had my body back! But wouldn’t you know it? I came up with new reasons not to eat things.
My immune system was probably low from all that child-birthing, I realized, so I’d better avoid sugar, in all forms. Then I suddenly remembered (how had I forgotten?) that physical from ten years ago where my cholesterol was dangerously near the “slightly elevated” stage. So adios burgers and bacon.
Finally, it became crystal-clear that what I had actually been suffering from all my life was a “Candida Overgrowth,” and I embarked on a vicious battle against Candida.
Important Note: I do NOT recommend the Candida Diet. Not if you actually need to eat food for energy. I know some super-human beings do this diet, but personally, it was a fate worse than death. No bread, no potatoes, no beans, no sugar, no fruit. I’m 90% sure that laughing and smiling are also frowned upon.
But nevertheless, desperate to achieve my optimal health and happiness, I gave it a good, hard fight.
For six days.
That’s when it happened. The moment. I was plopped, listless and nearly unconscious, on the counter bar stools, head in my palms, asking God for wisdom for what in the world to eat, because the only thing I could think of that would be “safe” was roasted organic kale, but the idea of smelling roasted kale on in my house (again) was enough to make me really, actually sick.
But I was so hungry. Please, God, what should I eat?
That’s when it hit me. I do have food.
In fact, my pantry, freezer, and refrigerator were bursting with food, but I had created excuses not to eat it all. Then in my mind’s eye, I saw others praying for food. You know, others who actually needed food.
I started feeling petty about my self-imposed elimination diets. What is up with all this making-up-excuses-not-to-eat-things?
Maybe everyone is not quite the dramatic dieter that I am. But I do have a suspicion I’m not alone. I mean, you can hardly grab a carton of milk at Target (or bunch of kale) without being bombarded with the proud labels: “gluten-free,” “dairy-free,” “GMO-free,” “sugar-free…”
All the omissions, a badge of honor. It’s become an epidemic. And why?
We are becoming a people obsessed with curing our (real or imaginary) life issues, through diet.
Now I am not denying there are people with real food issues. (One of those people is sleeping upstairs, and I have made it my life’s work to protect him.)
But for my part, I need to stop with my diets.
Why?
- They ultimately won’t work. I hate to be the reminder of awful news, but no amount of essential oil or organic coconut oil wards off death for good. At some horrible point, I have to come to terms with the fact. I. Am. Going. To Die.
- But there’s another thing. “Food guilt” is not “real guilt.” Have you ever had “food guilt”? There’s something *off* about this. It should not conjure up the same type of guilt in me to eat Chick-fil-a waffle fries (fried in canola! all the carbs!) as to lose my temper with my children. Breaking a self-imposed diet often feels “sinful,” but it’s just not. The perspective gets skewed.
- But the ultimate objection is this. Is curing my ailments, lowering my cholesterol count, perfecting my diet REALLY the ultimate goal I want out of life? Do I want to be the girl known at my funeral for Working Relentlessly To Cure Her I.B.S.?
Of course not. I want my time, energy, and money spent in a way that makes me proud.
So what do we do now? Us with our stomachs that hurt and we don’t know why, our little nagging health issues with that allusive, magical cure just one e-cookbook away?
There is an answer. And it’s A Prayer. It’s the suppertime prayer we’d say when we were little kids, sitting down with plastic cups and summer-day sweatiness to eat our Sloppy Joes. I say this prayer now with my kids, and I’m shocked with the meaning in every sing-song line. (Words in italics are mine.)
Come Lord Jesus, be our guest.
We are not Alone.
Let this food to us be blessed.
Somehow, use this imperfect meal to nourish our imperfect bodies. Feed us.
By your hands we all our fed.
Gratitude – we are so full.
Thank you for our daily bread.
Amen.
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I’m pretty sure you’ve been reading my mind when you’ve posted lately Jess! I’ve been toying with going completely paleo to “cure” my hormonal issues and headaches. It may truly help if I ever get time to make every meal from scratch but in the meantime, I like your approach to pray and ask God to bless whatever food we have to use in our imperfect bodies. Much better than obsessing about every bite that goes in our mouths. Thanks for the reminder!!!
You are a right-on-time sort of a gal, you know? I’ve been seriously getting (mentally) ready for an elimination diet for my almost 2 year old who has this crazy rash around her mouth and a terrible diaper rash on her lower back that won’t give up. Because it has to be food related, somehow. Or, it’s been cold, or what passes for cold in South Florida and calendula is healing it nicely anyway (face rash), and she’s a super sweaty sleeper and she always sweats on her lower back first (diaper rash). duh.
I’ve often wondered if food allergies/sensitivities are the latest fad. Like those Chuck Taylor’s in high school, now as adults you’re just not cool if you don’t have a gluten or dairy sensitivity in your family. I can’t count the people who are whatever-free because of no real medical reason. It’s just the thing to do.
I’m still going to do the elimination diet with her, but mostly because hubby and I are doing a modified Daniel fast after Easter to break some bad food addictions/habits we share so it will be easy to include her in it. And you know what? If it clears up her skin, wonderful, but I don’t think I’ll be eliminating food groups forever. Limit, maybe, but I love milk and butter and eggs and white enriched bread grilled cheese sandwiches the way my Momma used to make… so eat them we shall.
Thanks for mentioning the Daniel diet! I did a fast once and it made me feel awesome. Gotta get back into that book.
What a beautiful article, Jessica! Thanks so much for shedding light and godly wisdom on such a sensitive topic!
Jessie, don’t know why, but your little prayer at the end of this article just made me cry. It is one thing to be careful what we put into our bodies, “Don’t live to eat, but Eat to live” as the saying goes, however idolizing our food choices has become a “1st World Problem” (a term some of my liberal friends use). I will forever be mindful of sugar, gluten, overly processed food, etc, but forever thankful for the food God has given me. And yes Jessie, just like “Bob” I have come to terms that “we are ALL going to die” (HA remember that movie) but heaven is going to be great!
Thanks for that timely bit of wisdom. I try to be careful about what I eat and feed my family, but I don’t want to have the unhealthy obsession that has become so popular. How many times have I felt “food guilt” because I put something less than perfect in my “temple”? Gratitude for our many blessings is a better way to live.
Thanks for touching on something I’m sure many can relate to, Jessica. I’ll be honest, this is a subject I have struggled with as well, but in a different way. I’ve had issues with the latest trend/fad of self-imposed elimination diets for one main reason. I have a daughter who HAS to avoid peanuts or SHE COULD DIE. This isn’t a choice she made. When she had her first reaction to peanut butter 16 years ago, it wasn’t nearly as common, so I lived in constant fear that someone wouldn’t understand that even something like a gummy worm or cracker could contain traces of peanuts and would give her a “harmless” bite of something. Then, as severe food allergies (unfortunately) became more common, people started taking them more seriously. But now that more and more people are avoiding this food or that, my new fear is that people will become intolerant or bored with so many “special diets” that they won’t understand that when she says that she can’t have anything with with peanuts, it truly means she CAN NOT have anything with peanuts. It’s definitely not a choice.
It seems to be a constant battle, and I’ve done exactly as you described, in an attempt to protect my other children. Thanks for drawing attention to this subject and allowing for these conversations!
I do wish we were on the same page about Kale since I just shared a delicious smoothie recipe 😉 But you are right, we don’t need to obsess about food and diets as much as we do! Everything in moderation…
But in the case of Owen and his real, life-threatening food allergies – I second what Cindy said – our diet isn’t a CHOICE at all, but a NECESSITY for a safe (and healthy) life.
Loved this Jessica!
Having just gone through an elimination diet, I can’t understand why anyone would willingly do one…lol. But, I have bad histories of weird diets and exercise, so I totally get it. 🙂 Welcome to a world without kale.
YAY! This was a good read. I am so glad you reached out the the only one who can help! Just to re affirm where you are and be that 2nd witness. Oh my the bondage in the world over food. Food can so easily become an idol. First off….knowing that His yolk is Easy. What does Jesus say?? Worry NOT over what you eat or drink. Hmmmm how easy is that?? Freedom. Food freedom. Proverbs does warn us NOT to overeat all the time (gluttony). Gluttony causes overweight and over weight leads and contributes to so very many health issues. BUT we do see that food can be used for celebration (feasting). And mind you ….you dont have to worry that not eating every 2-3 hours will mess us your metabolism some how because fasting is a biblical model we can follow…contrary to what the world says. And lastly to clinch the deal….LOL..you are totally right about prayer! In Timothy we are directed to receive whatever foods we have with thanksgiving and prayer to SANCTIFY it. <—– thats a HUGE deal! To sanctify something means to make it holy. And right there God says we can sanctify our food….whatever food that is. Setting captives free!!!!
Oh and I DO wanna mention TRUE allergies/medical issues DO EXIST as not to place stumbling blocks. You may NEED a special diet and that is totally God honoring for you. We must acknowledge that we do live in a fallen world – that is decaying and this includes the decay of our fleshly bodies. Things go wrong in a fallen world and true allergies and illnesses can and do exist. So pray for healing… and use your noggin to receive the best medical help available to us at this time to live your best possible life today as the world stands. For the most part I am speaking about/to people who jump on the bandwagon of some new food fad- NOT people who carry the burden of illness that must be treated <3
John 6:27
Do not labor for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to everlasting life, which the Son of Man will give you, because God the Father has set His seal on Him.”
There is a tension to everything in this world I suppose as we can easily be snared and step to the right or to the left. Being ignorant or lax about what you eat which may defile your body or too and addiction, but also we can become obsessive about health too. By God’s grace and strength I try to seek His direction, because we do need to eat, it would make sense to ask Him for His direction on that as well as everything else.
I’ve been sick & disabled for the past few years & now ask the Lord daily to ‘establish the work of my hands’ and to direct my path by His word, letting no iniquity have dominion over me.’ Ps 90:17 & 119:133
Thanks for sharing your journey!
Thanks for the humor and for making me laugh 🙂 This could have been me writing this! Yes, I came to the same conclusion. Living with all the restrictions felt very myopic and I’m pretty sure that is not how God wants us to live…
I felt the same way. I wax restricting myself so much, that I did not know what to eat anymore. I have no food allergies, I am good about the foods I eat, so then why am I torturing myself? No more. This is a answer to a prayer, that I did not even know I was praying for.
Thank you for this post Jessica! I was just talking about this with my husband this past weekend. We sound way too similar, haha. I started my health journey over 4 years ago after the birth of my second child. She turned my health upside down and all around! I focused on the physical issues and have done many diet alterations over the past few years. Even the dreaded candida cleanse diet! For 6 weeks, yikes! I did feel amazing until I started adding other foods to my list and returning to a “normal” diet. Then I slowly started having digestive issues again. I have to the same conclusion as you Jessica. I eat healthy overall and I try to do my best without obsessing over it. I do not want food to be an idol and I believe it had become that for a while. In the end, we do all die. And what if God has actually allowed these health issues to happen in our lives to bring him glory in some way? What if he is using them to sanctify us? Just a thought:)
Jessica, thank you for sharing your heart. I have always said that every baby leaves their mark! The boys will spit up more due to being active & the girls will be calmer but more gassy Who knows, By the time you figure it out they will be on to the next thing! Anyway, I have had huge problems with leaky gut and have recently tried a product called Plexus. (not trying to plug them) I could not eat anything without running to the bathroom in pain. It balanced my blood sugar and has healed me. Thank you Lord!I ate a cold cut sub & it was delicious! I can now sigh a sigh of relief
I know this is kind of redundant, but I just also wanted to say that this is identical to the journey God has been taking me on. He is so patient and kind to stroll with me through life gently correcting my “oh so noble” attempts at being better (and getting better). When all is said and done all I need is Jesus. Why battle a curse (death) that was already conquered on the cross?? Why should I impose a law on myself when Jesus freed me from the law of sin and death? Seems counter productive and just silly in hindsight. Thank you for posting!! God bless this food you have given us all. We gratefully receive it with thankful hearts.
Thank you for this post! I suffer from a terrible autoimmune condition which led me to follow autoimmune elimination diet to get relief. The diet works and I feel so much better, and I’m starting to return to eating normal foods that don’t cause autoimmune reaction in me. Following the diet can become such an idol, and I found in my own life it promoted a lot of self-centeredness in me. So your comment about people praying for food, literally any food, really hit me. Thanks for the reality check abound I’ll he following your blog more often!
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Thank you so much for this post. You truly are a blessing for posting this. I feel
Like I have been struggling with this for a long time. When I go shopping for food, I get anxious just trying to figure out what I am going to buy, does it have this, does it have that etc…. It made me think about other people in other counties who don’t have any food, the way we do. They eat simple foods and survive that way. I think here in the U.S. It is turning into a fad, all the food diets etc… I am going to incorporate the good food habits I have learned with my moms way. I do miss the my moms way of cooking, traditions. Also, to trust that God will bless the food we eat and stop worrying about what we are putting in our mouths. Doesn’t God want us to not worry? This doesn’t mean to use food in a manner to eat everything we want. When I was a kid, my mom made foods that she could afford for us. It was frozen dinners, boxed cereals, bologna sandwiches etc… I am sure she prayed about it and god provided and kept us safe. I say, follow what is right for you and your family, and dont listen to the noise in this world. God bless you all and may he keep us all safe on our journey of health and fitness in this world.