• Home
  • Blog
  • Memory-Making Mom For Launch Team
  • Memory Making Mom Resources
  • Privacy
  • Is Your Child Ready for a Phone?
  • Freebies
  • The Family Question Book! 250+ Questions!

"Smartter" Each Day

Be A Different Kind Of Mom

To The Mom Who Thinks “I Could Never Be Happy As A Stay-At-Home-Mom”

By jessica 5 Comments

To the mom who thinks- I could never be happy as a stay at home mom

A few of my favorite bloggers have some awesome posts about “how to survive on one income” or, “how to stay at home if you can barely afford it.”

I love those posts because I think they spark hope and life into moms who could never imagine they’d have the means to stay home with their small children. But there is another category of moms who don’t know if they can stay home. And it’s not about money. It’s not about logistics.

It’s about contentment.

See, I know this. I was one of those moms.

My whole life I’d envisioned myself staying home with my (7-8!) children, and being perfectly content. Three months into the gig, however, I found myself in quite the opposite position. Sure, I was staying at home with my babe. But I was lonely. I felt like I didn’t have a mission in life (besides changing diapers and being a human cow). I was bored, yet somehow busier than I ever have been (?). And mostly, I was ashamed, and disappointed. I had only ever wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, yet somehow I was so bad at it.

I am happy to say that I have made leaps and bounds in this department. While I have difficult seasons, I am content in my role as stay-at-home mom.

Kitchen tap close up

Here are my six steps to being a happy stay-at-home mom:

  1. Realize that there are many things you could be doing that would make you happier. Wait – this sounds…completely opposite to the whole reason you clicked on this post! Alas, it does. The truth is, I first began to find joy in my role as a stay-at-home mom when I began to accept it. I do love being home. But the truth is, I am not doing it for myself. I am doing it because I believe it is the best decision for my children and my family. If I’m looking for a career with posh benefits, regular breaks, and lots of acclomation, I will be vastly disappointed. I get my hair pulled and my toes stepped on. I eat breakfast last. I can’t pee without someone banging down the door, and inevitably I will have to get up from my cozy chair to unstick someone’s Lego. Instead of letting these irritations be reasons for bitterness or comparison, I must choose to see them as gifts to my family.
  2. And that’s the next point. To really have a clear understanding of exactly how staying at home is benefitting your people. I mean not in the abstract, but in the real life. Does your husband appreciate how he worries less about the laundry, or grocery shopping? Is your daughter soaking in the extra time on your lap? Can you see how you can focus more clearly on discipling the Child With The Temper? And so on. When the going gets tough, stop and remind yourself exactly why you are needed in this role. It will vary from mom to mom, of course. But knowing YOURS will bring great satisfaction.
  3. Utilize continued education. Yes – continued education for Motherhood! And why not? In nearly all careers, there is on-the-job training – seminars, books, conferences.. Well, why in the world would being a stay-at-home mom be any different? For the past year I have felt like I was walking blindly in my role. Lonely, I guess. It dawned on me. I need to read more. These books I’m reading this year? Life-changing.
  4. Next, you find joy at home by being you. Do what you’re good at, what makes you happy. Do you love to cook? Do you love crafts? throwing parties and playdates? cutting coupons and streaming budgets? organizing pantries? cuddling in your PJs and snuggling? Well, find those “mommy niches” that you delight in, and do them. A lot.
  5. Get out, but don’t be always longing to get out. I am 100% in favor of girls’ weekends, date nights, mom’s mornings out, and the ever-so-heavenly evening run to Target. I love these things, and they rejuvenate me. I return to my children happier, and refreshed. At the same time – I have definitely walked through seasons where I was generally discontent with my role. And when you are an Unhappy Mom, it’s a problem that you can’t fix by escaping to Target or booking a weekend babysitter. When it reaches this point for me, two things need to happen.
    1. I need to confess to God that I’m unhappy in my role. And I ask him to show me the way.
    2. I need to get happy WITH my kids and WITH my home. Fleeing it all only does so much. So, this is where you might find me going on a massive Kon-Mari Decluttering Rampage, or packing up all the children for a very-spontaneous aquarium outing. Sometimes, I don’t need to get out. I need to get happy with my people. (And credit to Rachel Jankovic for this thought.)
  6. And finally, to be happy as a stay-at-home mom, you need to realize that this time does not last forever. The days are long, but the years are short. Perspective…that is what I was so lacking in those early days of motherhood. We will have our times again for perpetually-manicured nails and leisurely solo grocery store outings. It is a very brief time when young children are in the home. It will be gone in a blink!

Did you ever struggle in your role as a stay-at-home mom? What advice would you give to someone who doesn’t think she could do it?

Follow "Smartter" Each Day on Facebook!

Follow Jessica on Instagram!

Want my "Favorite Things" newsletter?

I hate lots of annoying emails, so I won't send them! Just motherhood + life tips, a few times a month.

Success! Now check your email to confirm your subscription.

There was an error submitting your subscription. Please try again.

I won't send you spam. Unsubscribe at any time. Powered by ConvertKit
Email, RSS Follow
Pin It
Email

Filed Under: Be Confident {Homeschool and Parent With Courage}, Parenting Tagged With: help for stay at home mom, how to be happy as a stay at home mom, overwhelmed SAHM, stay at home mom unhappy

Comments

    Leave a Reply Cancel reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

  1. Sara says

    February 16, 2016 at 7:58 am

    Needed this today! Points 5 and 6 specifically :). Thank you! 🙂

    Reply
  2. Ariel says

    February 16, 2016 at 8:26 am

    Number 5 is so good. A weekend away is great for refreshment but it will not fix a deep seated discontentment!

    Reply
  3. Sara O says

    February 16, 2016 at 9:09 am

    Gosh- 6 months in with 2 and I thought I was along feeling lonely and struggling. Thanks for pointing out that I am not, it won’t be this way forever, and that with God I can find my way and the days will be bright again. Thank you, this brought tears to my eyes.

    Reply
  4. Maritza says

    February 18, 2016 at 11:52 am

    I struggle on my end because I have to work and knowing a few stay at home moms that complain about being bored really bums me out because I wish I had their time. I gotten better to not resent them because although I work full time and I am drained- God provides me with that extra ounce of energy to get through. Any uplifting advice for the working moms?

    Reply
  5. Anne says

    December 22, 2016 at 3:36 pm

    Jessica

    Thanks for the great article.

    As a stay at home Mom for 15 years, I just devoured the books written by Maria Montessori.

    How exciting and fun it was to create self directed learning opportunities for toddlers with everyday items around the house.

    I remember putting gallon, quart, pint size containers in the bathtub and watching my little ones learn about volume!

    Can’t wait to read “Sleep, it does a family good”

    That’s right up our alley.

    Anne
    CEO and Mom in Charge
    Washabelle, LLC
    Makers of the world’s first machine washable dryable loveable mattress for kids.

    Reply
Hi! I’m Jessica. Former English teacher turned homeschooling mom of three. ESTJ. iPhone addict (in recovery). Anxiety overcomer. Allergy mom (only slightly neurotic). Loved by God, and wife to Mr. Fix Anything. I run a mean 12-minute mile and can make just about anything dairy free. I’m glad you’re here! Read More >>>
Yummy Recipes About Jessica Funny Stuff

Newsletter

Do you ever lie in bed and vow to be a better mom tomorrow? Do you struggle with feeling distracted? Are you a worrier? Subscribe for your weekly edition of motherhood insights, humor you’ll love, & real-life encouragement.

Success! Now check your email to confirm your subscription.

There was an error submitting your subscription. Please try again.

Miss Something?

Recent Comments

  • Jennifer Fromke on 20 Books I’m Planning to Read in 2023
  • Helen on Personal Life Update from Jessica
  • Brenda R Bullard on What Is A Republican & What Is A Democrat? (For Kids)
  • Carla on What Obamacare Did For Our Middle-Class Family
  • Aston Karly on What Is A Republican & What Is A Democrat? (For Kids)

Should I Homeschool? (This Is Why All Those Weird Moms Do)

6 Successful Habits Of Joanna Gaines

I Asked 20 Moms With Grown Kids What They Regret Most. Here Are Their Answers.

Can We Please Stop Saying THIS To Each Other?

How To Waste Your Motherhood (Thoughts After The Scariest Day Of My Life)

The iPhone Is Ruining Your Summer

Think you have bored kids? No, Your Kids Aren’t Bored – They’re Lazy

10 Things Everyone Forgets To Bring On A Beach Vacation

The Day I Decided To Stop Eating Kale

15 Non-Trashy Shows For Parents To Watch When Their Kids Go To Bed

10 Shows I Let My Young Children Watch (And Some I Don’t!)

What Parents of Kids With Food Allergies Want You To Know (But Are Afraid To Say)

Tags

anxiety appetizers autism babyfood Bible bored kids boys budget C.S. Lewis contentment culture dairy-free dealing with anxiety in motherhood dear mom with the iphone ectopic experience ectopic pregnancy my story faith fatigue in motherhood frugality funny green living healthy diet heaven home organization i'm addicted to my iPhone lies moms believe love marriage mexican mom anxiety motherhood newborns parenting parenting tips pasta patience preschool salad Sam Sam's story soup toddlers Ty worried moms worry
Copyright ©2025, "Smartter" Each Day. All Rights Reserved. Custom design by Pixel Me Designs