So, this post is obviously in my 31- Day “Lies Moms Believe” series. And I want to be honest with you. Before I started, I worked up an outline (the “lies”) that I have pretty much followed.
Except for this post.
Originally I was going to write a post called, “Lies Moms Believe: My House Has to Be Perfectly Decorated,” and I was going to show you ghastly pictures of various corners in our home that would make Isaac Mizrahi die an early death.
This post it would have been the same vein of the birthday party post, just reminding everyone everywhere that “you can’t do it all” and your house doesn’t have to be Pottery Barn perfect, and just to get over it. And that’s true – we moms do not feel like we need a perfect house, just to be Pinterest-Perfect.
But there was one problem.
I couldn’t “get over it.” My cluttered, disorganized, and yes, undecorated house was causing me undeniable internal stress. And really, when you have three small children, and homeschool, and only leave your home for 1.75 hours each week to grocery shop, WHO NEEDS EXTRA INTERNAL STRESS??
Not me.
So over the last few weeks, I’ve changed my perspective, and I now believe that we can have a house that we love, that is beautiful. I can’t tell you how happy this has made me.
Now, I want to be clear. We have a lovely home, and I am very blessed to be in it. But for a long time, I had resigned myself to the fact that I just wouldn’t *love* my house for years and years. Here are the reasons that I had. I don’t know if any of them resonate with you.
- I don’t have lots of money to spend on decorating.
- I don’t have time to decorate.
- I’m not as good as ________ at decorating (fill in the blank with “that friend.”).
- I have little kids, so everything nice will just get destroyed.
- I have little kids, so I have SO MUCH STUFF.
- And so on.
I now believe that I was wrong. I can love my house. Really, really love it. And I believe you can, too. Here’s what changed my mind.
- This post from my friend Stacy at Stacy Makes Cents. Her post (How To Turn Any House Into A Home You Love) was the catalyst for the change in my thinking. I just love Stacy, but I have been particularly inspired by how her journey to transform a home she never meant to stay in, into a beautiful space. I know that Stacy is frugal, and not frivolous. She also does like a bazillion things so I figured if she could make the time, so could I. 🙂
- The book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing
. I plan to share in an entire post (or a series of posts) how this “KonMari” method has worked for our home. Reading this book has changed my thinking because I realize that the first step – GETTING RID OF THE CRAP YOU DON’T LIKE – is totally doable, for anyone! And also – well – life-changing! It costs nothing. It doesn’t require a decorator’s knowledge. Anyone can do it, I believe, by using her book.
- The show, Fixer-Upper by Chip and Joanna Gaines. Okay, so I actually have a whole post ruminating about this show and what it’s taught me. It’s wonderful and you should all watch it. But the big takeaway for me was watching Joanna come into a horrible, decrepit, undecorated house and imagine the possibilities. I’m a very practical, realistic person, and this show has given me the gift to imagine what a home could be. I keep harboring the hope maybe one day I’ll win some contest for her to come decorate my home! ha!
- The book The Nesting Place: It Doesn’t Have to Be Perfect to Be Beautiful
by “The Nester.” I met Myquillyn Smith (“The Nester”) at a blogging conference, and I was so inspired by her down-to-earth style and practical tips. I received a chunk of this book to review and loved it! She has a whole bunch of resources on her blog (including a class you can take – though I think it’s full). Personally, I’m old-fashioned. I want the hard copy of this book to read and implement – that is, AFTER I exterminate our home from the junk that we do not need!
I’d love to hear your perspective. Do you think anyone can be happy anywhere? Decorators – speak up! What’s the first thing you do to spruce up your home?
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I subscribe to your posts, so when I saw the title of this one, I had to click through :). I literally just had a conversation with my husband last night about how much I hated our house, and usually, I try to look on the bright side and do what I can do. We are homeowners, but the way we came to own our home was a bit of an arranged marriage – my in-laws graciously bought us a home to rent from them in law school, and we only saw pictures of it online. It was okay, it had potential, but then we found out when we moved in that the previous owner had smoked. Yuck. Do you know how hard it is to get rid of smoky odors in a house? Anyway, we have worked on it, and have slowly made changes, but there are times where I get so discouraged because of the smell issue. I am hoping we can find a way to deal with it – I am even praying about it! 🙂
I think happiness is largely a choice, but I also think it’s okay to be realistic about what really bugs you about a house (like the smoke smell). I try to list my frustrations in a way that allows me to solve problems when possible. I also make a list of potential changes we could make, which ones will make the biggest impact first (not necessarily visually, but often functionally, for example, we need a place to hang our coats when we come in from the garage), and which ones we can afford to do. It helps to get it all out on paper. Sometimes the changes don’t cost anything, other times they do require money, but money that is well worth spending.
This is a great post! This is something I have struggled with as well. I am blessed to live in a lovely home. But I can’t help but constantly notice and pick at all the things that are wrong with it. And now after 7 years, 1 child (another on the way), it’s like it’s all finally clicking. The fact is, I need to MAKE this home work for us! So we are working on getting rid of the things we don’t need and finding appropriate storage solutions. I believe if everything is in it’s place and the house runs efficiently then it will be beautiful! Maybe I’ll finally relax enough to consider actually decorating a little 🙂
YES!!!!!!! I feel this so often. I just don’t have a great decorating gene. And frankly I don’t have time, money, or motivation to decorate with the little ones running around. I am just a simple person. I like the way I have my house. Yes, I would like to do some things here or there, and hopefully will eventually, but I can’t let that rule over me or compare myself to someone else or some tv show or Pinterest post. You said it perfectly!
The Nesting Place changed my entire outlook. I think everyone should read it.