just a bunch of funny things from today

Some days are funnier in retrospect. Here’s what happens on some of these days, like today, for instance.

• Someone’s up at 4:50. In the morning. For the day. Hint: This person is not a parent or guardian. Second hint: This person did NOT want socks on, was NOT thirsty, most definitely did not want his diaper changed, but oddly, was pacified by clunking a box of blocks in the dark. Guess he woke up with an architectural vision.
• Consequently, everyone is dressed and eating oatmeal by 6:30, eating lunch at 11, having meltdowns at 10:30 in the morning, dinner at five, and in bed at 6:30. Thank you, daylight savings time.
•  Good news = you made cookies. Bad news = afternoon snack was globs of cookie dough for everyone. Whoops.
•  It was the best idea you had all day to lug a fifty-pound muddy outdoor basketball hoop into the living room.
•  You make a doctor appointment because you think your son has MERSA, only to realize the skin disease in question were ant bites. Oh, wait, that doesn’t ever happen to you? Oh.
•  Somehow the idea of making a plate of seconds is really tiring, and a better idea is to eat bite-sized chunks of BBQ pork right off of a one-year-old’s high chair. Look, he wasn’t going to eat them anyway.
•  By the time the sun sets, you will have broken up six fights over a plastic lug nut-remover. At least the time that blood was drawn, the perpetrator promised he would never, ever scratch anyone again, “unless it was a really bad person who came into our house with a sword.” Mark that one down in the “win” category, I guess.
•  Sweeping the floor is like a bittersweet trip down memory lane. Ahhh, I remember the raisins. That was a good snack. Oh, THERE’S marker lid. When did we use cue tips??? Oh, yeah, when Ty got cookie dough in his belly button…
•  You realize while cleaning up the day’s wreckage that someone apparently occupied himself for solid amount of time with half a bag of rubber bands and a log of metal staples. Mother of year, right here.
•  You find wooden spoons all over and honestly cannot remember if someone was making soup or got a spanking.
•  You hear ferocious dinosaur jumps and various other “cool tricks” coming from the bedroom of the one who was “too tired” to carry his water bottle to bed. (?!?)
• And, lastly, at the end of said day, you fish through the freezer to reheat a freezer-burnt peanut-butter brownie from six months ago. {Update: this was one of the sub-par ideas of the day. Just as a word of advice.}

But overall I’d say today was absolutely a success, wouldn’t you?!? 🙂

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