My husband – bless his kind, patient soul – puts our boys to bed most every night. We’ve been having an “interesting” time having our youngest (4) say his prayers.
For a while, Todd said a very brief prayer which they’d repeat verbatim. Somewhere along the line, Todd decided to prod the boys for some spontaneous, unscripted prayer time.
Simple enough, right? Just pray to God. Go ahead, boys, say your prayers.
It became increasingly evident that, while this was no problem at all for Extremely Verbose Older Son, it was a quite the ordeal for Typical Stubborn Middle Son Who Doesn’t Need To Talk Much Anyway.
It would go something like this.
Todd: Ty, say your prayers, buddy.
Ty: I can’t think of a prayer.
Todd: Tell God thank you for something.
Ty: (picking off carpet shreds for an eternity of silence)
Todd: Ty, tell God thank you for something.
Ty: I can’t think of a thing.
Todd: What are you glad you have? God gives us everything.
Ty: Thank you for…Sam and Mom and Dad. (always.)
Todd: Ty, now let’s pray for someone. Who would you like to pray for?
Ty: I can’t think of a person.
And believe it or not, it takes a good five minutes to actually COME UP WITH A PERSON. Listen, dude. Just pick a person. Pick ANY HUMAN BEING YOU HAVE EVER MET. Ever. In your life.
Once we could finally narrow down a human being that we remembered meeting at some point in our existence, it was even more difficult to come up with a prayer.
Todd and I would always have a good laugh after these sessions. It become evident to me that we were in need of TEACHING the kids about how to pray, and especially how to pray for others.
Because honestly? It seems instinctive to us, but it truly is a tricky concept! What are kids supposed to say to God? And how can they really lift someone up in prayer, beyond the ambiguous “be with so-and-so.” (Which, what does that even mean exactly anyway, for God to “be with” someone?)
So the other day I was running around the neighborhood, brainstorming how to teach my kids to pray. I feel obligated to tell you that both of these things are extremely rare occurrences, lest you envision me a super-fit and super-holy mom. Which I am not.
But here’s what I came up with.
Part 1 – WHAT TO PRAY
Keep their prayers very simple in format. Do two things.
Have them THANK GOD FOR SOMETHING THEY DID OR SAW TODAY. Then, have them PRAY FOR SOMEONE.
Yes, there are MANY other aspects to prayer – praising God, requesting things, repenting for sins (which – side note – should also happen in your home…But I recommend this immediately after the infraction, as kids are like dogs and forget their messes rather quickly 😉 )
But back to my point. Start simple. The most important thing in the beginning is to keep it simple for your sake and theirs. So pray for those two things – thanking God for something they did or saw today, and praying for someone else.
Part 2 – HOW TO PRAY FOR SOMEONE.
Here’s the little trick I came up with. First of all, I created this SUPER SIMPLE (I am not crafty!) little “Prayer Ring.”
I cut index cards into quarters (I wanted a thicker paper). Then I hole-punched them, and hung them on a ring. I literally used this flimsy old keychain that some random key was on. Honey, what was that random key for, by the way?
Anyway.
Then we wrote down names. Grandparents, cousins, neighbors. Todd’s boss. The pastor. Our Compassion kids. I left some blank for future friends in need. 🙂 In the morning, we just randomly find a name to pray for, which eliminates that painful process of thinking up the name of a person. So that’s nice.
Now, as far as WHAT to pray for someone. I wanted something catchy, to help my kids remember what to say when they pray for someone. Kind of like an acronym…except the idea of teaching two young boys what an acronym was, in addition to a specific acronym, in addition to implementing that acronym, sounded extremely painful and I opted to avoid it.
So here’s the other idea.
FIRST – You point up to the sky. We pray that he/she would know God, and love Him. Easy enough, right?
SECOND – You point to your mouth. What goes in your mouth? Teeth was our first guess here. We did eventually stumble upon “food.” So we pray that they would have food, water, medicine, clothes – everything they need.
THIRD – You point to your heart. We pray he/she would have peace and joy. I explained that peace is that they aren’t afraid. And joy is that they are not sad.
So I hope that helps! A friend from college sent me a message recently to tell me her kids wanted to pray that morning for “that kid with the allergies.” It was so touching that they remembered Sam, whom they never met! I knew I wanted to incorporate this time into our homeschool, too. And with these tips, it has been easier, whether in the morning, or during their bedtime prayers.
What do you think? If you have other ideas, I’d love to hear them!
Note : If you like these tips, make sure you check out my e-book, How To Introduce Your Child To Jesus!
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Great post today! We also have the same struggles with Reagan and she is super talkative. Maybe it’s just the age! She thanks God for Trunkers (stuffed animal) nightly so we have to get her to think about something else….then it’s cupcakes! Love the idea of the keyring with names. She also prays for Sam and his allergies frequently. Can’t wait for the beach!
I love these ideas! And you made me laugh at the part about being a fit and holy mama. Your writing is so fun to read!
We have been using this little system for awhile now and I truly love it! http://happyhomefairy.com/2015/07/27/teaching-kids-about-prayer/
We also have used a Family Prayer Jar that is like your sweet index cards! We cut out a photo of each family member’s face and taped it to the end of a popsicle stick. We put all of the sticks in a jar and choose one to pray for at night. http://happyhomefairy.com/2013/09/04/the-family-prayer-jar/
I love that you are always looking for ways to point your family to Jesus!
This is GREAT!!! Thank you so much! I will be making some cards this weekend and sharing this with my husband.
Love this!!! Thank you for sharing!!! Something we have tried the past two months is creating a monthly prayer calendar. We sit down as a family at the beginning of the month and list people to pray for on specific days. Of course we can always add to it if prayer requests come up, but this was a way for us as parents to be intentional about getting our children to pray for a variety of people….not just mom, dad, and bro/sis. If we know ahead of time of big events, doctor appointments, etc….we can pray accordingly. It has really been helpful. I love your idea of sky, mouth, and heart. My youngest still has a hard time with this so I will be trying it soon.
Great ideas! We do something similar for “prompting” ideas about who to pray for… We have a dry erase board in our kitchen that we keep a list of names on it, of people that need prayer (family, friends, neighbors, etc.) I do write one or two words next to the name, as a reminder of their specific “need” and since 2 of my boys read independently and the youngest doesn’t, we sometimes help him “pick” from the list before we begin praying. Having that visual reminder is helpful for ALL of us!
At what age do think this is reasonable to start? I REALLY like this idea and look forward to implementing it in our lives, but my son is only 18 months old… currently we have him hold our hands while we pray as a family before we start our day (still building this habit) & before we eat…
Check out this resource for prayer cards along similar lines.
http://store.notconsumed.com/product/joy-prayer-cards/
Great read! I have been working with my 6 year old girl on this very thing! We started with memorizing the Lord’s Prayer and talking about how this was Jesus’s way of teaching us how to pray (week 1). Then we talked about what each part meant in plain language (week 2). This week we are practicing using it as a format for our personalized prayer. I am definitely incorporating some of your ideas into this portion of our learning!! Thanks again for the awesome suggestions!
Great post! We are currently working on prayer with our kids in Sunday School. We have one other thing we do and it’s called prayer hands. The children will cut out hand shapes and write the 5 areas of prayer onto the fingers of the card… Thanks, others, forgiveness etc. then each of the children each week takes a turn at a different finger of prayer, we are going to record them in the prayer book at church. The children will get one to take home and stick up by their bed and one hand to leave in the children’s zone at church, that way when the adults stop for prayer during service the children stop too, even though they may not pray exactly what the adults are they will be able to pray their own.
Thanks so much for sharing your journey in teaching your sons to pray! What a blast! And such a great example. I’m going to try your 3-POINT method with my darling son tonight. I’ve been incorporating him into our prayers at bedtime but including some additional direction will likely make it more meaningful for him. I love the names on the keyring too!
Thanks again. :0)
This is great. I have been struggling with the same exact thing with our 9-year-old. Seems like they did better when they were younger, but now that we are getting into a different age group, this has been a struggle. Seems like whatever I was trying to get across for how our prayer should look, it just became so directive and forced. Which I didn’t want to do. After all, God wanst to know the simplest needs of their hearts as well. I didn’t want or don’t want it to become a chore, but a wanted, spiritual habit. The good news is, still to this day, they refuse to go to bed without our prayers.
I will be happy to try this and glad you posted. So great to know that other moms are in the depths with you and dealing with the same wonders and worries when it comes to their children’s faith. So thank you, thank you, thank you!
How about writing the fruits of the spirit on a ring and asking how they can show that fruit to the people they come into contact with throughout the day?
Thank you! This had been on my heart but sometimes we over think things. The Bible says train up a child, and that includes showing them ways to pray and read the Word.