You Could Cure Your Picky Eater If You Wanted To (It Only Takes The Resolve Of A Navy Seal)

Note: I am not a doctor. Please consult your doctor with all medical concerns.

I know that what I am about to say is the blogging equivalent of, “Five weeks postpartum, and I’m back in my size-2 jeans!” Or, “Look! My two-year-old is READING!”

But while this post may sound annoying, it is THE TRUTH. I have done it. I have cured my toddler daughter’s picky eating. I’m still REEEEAL nervous to write this. Still working through the fears that this post will :

a) jinx us

b) offend all my subscribers.

Cause Picky Eating is one of those don’t-go-there Mommy War Issues. You know – ranking right up there with toddler breastfeeding and little boys playing with Barbies. (Which – let me tell you, that last one can be QUITE the controversial topic! Note to self: Don’t bring up at a dinner party if trying to make new friends.)

Anyway. Before I share my Mommy Miracle, let’s get a few things straight:

1. These statements are GENERAL STATEMENTS. I believe IN 99.9% OF CASES you CAN cure a picky eater. Somehow all the .01% mamas will jump out of the kitchen woodwork to inform me this post is insensitive nonsense. Well, look. It is possible that some of you CANNOT solve your kid’s picky eating. Sensory issues are a real thing, I get it. So as my husband would say, get your panties out of a wad, and relax. If you are in the .01%, I’m not talking to you.
2. PICKY EATING IS NOT A LIFE OR DEATH ISSUE. If you have raised / are raising an upstanding, honest, responsible God-fearing little human who happens to only eat orange-box Mac and Cheese all the live-long day, THEN GUESS WHAT? Pat yourself a gigantic pat on the back. You are a parenting success. So are we clear? This is not a motherhood gospel I am willing to die over.

BUT – I still firmly believe it is possible. And I know it sure made my life a heck of a lot easier. If you are curious if it can be done, it definitely can.

Here is my story.

Well, about few months ago, the weirdest thing happened.

My one-year-old sweetie-pie daughter would not eat her breakfast.

It was the same breakfast she always ate – almond yogurt with Cheerios and bananas. Would. Not. Touch It. Well, what was I supposed to do??? Obviously, I did what any self-respecting, worried mother would in my shoes.

I made her something she liked. (Which, oddly, was pureed beef.)

And that was the end of the ordeal….sort of. Over the next few weeks the crisis evolved as she seemed to develop her own *particular* tastes :

• She liked noodles warmed, NO BUTTER, elbows preferred, and DON’T YOU DARE TRY SERVING ME SHELL SHAPES!
• She would eat oranges, as long I removed EVERY LAST SHRED of the white outside part.
• She loved beef, as long as I pureed it to her desired consistency and warmed it to 1.5 degrees above room-temperature.
• She HATED WITH A PASSION pancakes, mashed potatoes, chicken, baby purees, and anything in a pouch.
• She liked Chick-fil-a’s waffle fries, but no other shape.
• She would eat bananas for breakfast on Tuesdays, but any other time she cried like the dickens at the sight.

And you get the drift?

It was quite overwhelming. I’d never had a picky eater before. My boys, bless their little bottomless pits, were ravenous little diners who devoured my tuna-lentil meatballs boiled in marinara without batting an eye.

My husband and I are not picky. WE ARE NOT PICKY PEOPLE. We love food in our house. We eat it, all of it. That my adorable, pleasant, and smiling little beauty was not enjoying food was nearly heartbreaking.

Not to mention exhausting!

I felt like I was walking on eggshells at meal times, holding my breath, standing on my head, singing I’m A Little Teapot to get her distracted enough to choke down two tablespoons of beef, which I had accidentally pureed for 20 pulses, and not the desired 37. AGHH!! It was driving my crazy!

One Sunday morning, I had had enough.

I woke up, and somehow I knew down in my Mothering Spirit that Today Was The Day. Enough was enough. Today, I was not going to serve beef for breakfast. I considered myself a rather accomodating mother in nature, but I had my limits. The family was enjoying a plethora of delicious breakfast options, and there was no good reason that my healthy, smiling, precious little one-year-old daughter would not also partake of the family meal.

So this was the end. I was going to give her a lot of delicious yummy foods. And she would eat ’em, doggone it.

My resolve was strong, until breakfast actually began. She took one look at the banana slivers, and IT started.

The moaning, the whimpering, the whining. I kept her there as long as I could, which was just long enough for my oldest son to say with a sigh, “Well, Mom, this is your life. I guess you better enjoy every minute.” (From the quote I had printed on our chalkboard.)

LOL. Thanks, bud.

When it was obvious she was NOT going to eat the pancakes, banana slivers, bagel smidgens, sausage bits, or yogurt I had offered (see? I tried), I put her down on the floor.

OH . MY . GOODNESS .

I felt like we were on a emotional Thunder Mountain Rollercoaster. It was funny, it was maddening, mostly, it was heartbreaking! She was obviously hungry. Wishful thinking – I casually sprinkled some of the Breakfast Mush de Jour on the coffee table, just in case she noticed it.

Oh, she noticed it alright! It only made her madder! You could tell these were some of the worst minutes of her little life, and ranking right up there with some of the worst of mine.

I was at my wits end. I called my mom, nearly in tears. “Mom, it’s awful. Ellie won’t eat any of her breakfast! What do I do? I can’t feed her pureed beef the rest of her life for every meal, can I? What’s going to happen? She’s going to waste away to nothing!!! Waaah!”

And my mom…laughed. And said this, or a version of it, about 17 times :

“Jessica, she won’t starve to death. Let her cry if she wants! You give her options, and then don’t act all upset if she doesn’t eat.”

Easy for you to say, I scoffed! You come over here and watch her crying desperate, starving tears!

So the next hour is a bit of a blur to me, but basically, at my mom’s prodding, I let her cry for a little, and then eventually held my daughter and casually fed her scoops of yogurt…and bacon bits…and even a piece of pancakes…and some Cheerios…and she had the biggest breakfast she has ever had in the history of her life.

That marked a big turning point for us, but did not settle the Picky Eating Question once and for all. I basically followed these steps over and over, and after a week – here is her sample menu:

• oatmeal, banana, yogurt, and cheerios for breakfast
• turkey, noodles, frozen peas, tomato for lunch
• fish sticks, pasta, broccoli, and applesauce for dinner

I’m giving Ellie the “Most Improved” Award around here!

Okay – so the tips. If you are intrigued by this concept of curing a picky eater, here are the four steps.

1.  Make sure they’re not getting too much milk, juice, or snacks. This was huge. I did a little research and realized I was giving my daughter about 10,000 calories a day in Almond milk and formula. Whoops. Also, the afternoon snack of crackers was needless and had to go. Every child is different, but mine just didn’t have as big of an appetite as my other kids, and just needed three meals (and smaller-sized bottles – see ). Basically, you need them to be HUNGRY for their meals. Wait till they are.
2. Give them a smattering of meal choices, including some things they DO like, and some they haven’t tried. Be reasonable. Cut it in small enough pieces. Don’t do ridiculously spicy things. Don’t expect them to like everything.
3. BUT don’t act in the slightest bothered or concerned about what they eat. THIS IS THE HARDEST. Do NOT try to jam your fingers inside their little mouths for a piece of toast. (Not that I have…ahem.) Do NOT say loudly, “Ugh!! She is so picky!!!” Do NOT do anything besides serve the meal, and then put them down after an appropriate meal time (10-15 minutes.) Whatever they eat, they eat. Pretend like you don’t care.
4. And repeat.

Eventually, (in 99.9% of cases) your little one will eat. Now it may not always make sense. I cannot explain why my daughter still doesn’t love pancakes, but will devour a pan of roasted broccoli. Some days she is ravenous, and others just picks.

The important thing is, I am calm and cool. Food is not a fight.

One last note.

On OLDER picky eaters. Now, I’m not going to lie to you. This is much trickier. (Just like there is a reason people don’t house train fifteen-year-old dogs.) But your older child CAN develop better eating habits. It absolutely can be done (and has, in kitchens all over the world.) I would do the same steps as above, but just add a first one.

First, have a discussion – where you invoke a Wiser, Larger Authority : Dad, the doctor, your soccer coach, your teacher, etc. Someone your child respects.

You say something like this. “You know, I was talking to your _________, and he/she thinks that before you can ___________ (choose something mature and fun : go camping, go to first grade, take cooking lessons, etc, etc), you need to work on your healthy eating. After all, your body needs all kinds of food for your brain and body to work right. Did you know that? So from now on, instead of having ______ for dinner every night, you might get something else. But don’t worry. You don’t HAVE to eat it. No worries. But that’s dinner! You won’t get __________ (previous favorite food) all the time anymore. But you know what? I bet you’ll like some of these new things! Dad and I love them!”

And then change the subject. And a few days, later, proceed through the steps 1-3 above.

That’s all there is to it. Do you know what your biggest obstacle will be? Look in the mirror. It is you, Mom. Do not be afraid. You can do it! Read this if you need to. And when all else fails, call your mother (Or someone else who understands how devastating it is to have your culinary delights rejected by a 15-month old 🙂 )

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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