Every few months, the following conversation takes place between me and my mom, husband or another victim friend.

Me: {deep sigh} Something is wrong with me. I am so, so tired! It’s so weird! I felt fine (fill in the blank amount of time) ago, but now! It’s like I want to take like five naps every day. 

Other Person: Hmm. (feigning interest)

Me: What could it be? I mean, is that normal? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?

I knew there was something. So, naturally, I have consulted my friend, Google. And also some various Facebook groups with helpful and similarly-inflicted friends.

Here are a few of the reasons I’ve come up with:

• My thyroid is off. (I have had my poor thyroid tested so many times it should have a report card.)
• My iron is off.
• My B-vitamins are off.
• My D Vitamin is off.
• My some-other-vitamin-that-an-expensive-doctor-should-check is off.
• I have undetected diabetes and undetected hypoglycemia.
• I need some hard-core exercise program that costs $2,579 a month.
• I’m unknowingly intolerant to some delicious food I cannot live without.
• I should be gluten-free.
• I should be paleo.
• I’m trying to be paleo, but my poor body actually has an innate need for pasta.
• I’m eating too much sugar.
• I’m drinking too much coffee.
• I’m suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder, or Adrenal Fatigue Disorder, or Chronic Muscle Joint Shakiness and Fatigue Syndrome. (It’s real, y’all. I googled it.)
• There’s mold lurking in our house.
• I’m pregnant.
• I have low progesterone, or estrogen, or both.
• My hormones are out of whack.
• Some delinquent pharmacist filled my latest bottle of “Stress B Vitamin Blend”  with a sedative, accidentally.

NOW LOOK.

Before I go one second further, I want to say something before I get hate mail and virtual tomatoes.

I UNDERSTAND THAT THESE THINGS (mostly) ARE REAL.

Okay, except for the Chronic Muscle Joint Shakiness and Fatigue Syndrome. I made that up. But I totally understand that many people have these things, and do not feel well until they are fixed.

But I also want to submit, gingerly, that perhaps it’s possible many of us moms (yours truly being one of them) don’t “have” anything, exactly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Well, besides children.

Perhaps we’re plum exhausted – not for some trendy reason that has a Name and a Cure – but just for Plain Old Boring Reasons. Unsexy reasons, if you will.

3 UNSEXY REASONS WHY THE MODERN MOM IS TIRED

1. Because your job is hard. Oh, surely it couldn’t be that. Could it?? A few years ago I had the above conversation with my Aunt Jamee. (Why am I so tired? Is this normal? What’s wrong with me?”) She had been visiting for the day, and I will never forget the look on her face. “Jessica, I have been watching you all day today. If I did all the things you did in a day, I’d be exhausted!” The thing is, it doesn’t *feel* exhausting, because it’s a lot of Boring Nothing. I mean no disrespect to my children. I would want no other job on earth. But it’s hard, and it’s not thrilling. It is a lot of things – worth doing, significant, fulfilling – but thrilling, it is not.

And if you don’t see how that makes you tired, pretend this with me. Imagine that right now, your husband walks right through the door. He says, “Honey, go pack your bags. Your mom is on the way, and in 20 minutes we are flying to the Bahamas.” DO YOU FEEL THAT SUDDEN RUSH OF ENERGY? Do you sense your pulse, suddenly coming alive, new, glorious energy coursing through your veins?

That is because our emotions affect our energy.

Mom – you are tired because your job is hard. And you are drained because it is draining. It’s not sexy, but it’s probably true.

2.  You are tired because you aren’t getting enough sleep. Oh, this is even more boring than the first one! I hear you out there. “But I get plenty of sleep! Usually…” Well, here’s the thing. How do I say this gently?

You are not the spring chicken you were in college. 

The Old You sat in Starbucks until they started mopping the floors under you and felt fine. The New You – how do I say this… You have been loved and worn like the Velveteen Rabbit. You have been made real, and you’ve lost your whiskers and your joints are sore, and it’s hard, hard work being real.

You just might need more sleep.

3. And finally, you are tired because you are a fallen human being. To quote the very wise Bob Wiley in the classic What About Bob, “I am going to die. You are going to die. We are ALL going to die.”

It should not be shocking that life is hard.

It should not be shocking that our bodies don’t work right.

Our bodies – this side of heaven – will break and shut down and fall over until the day when He calls us home and remakes us New.

So what’s a poor tired mom to do, with no magic cure in sight?

I have a few suggestions. I would have more, but it’s the end of the day, and my brain is starting to turn to Mom Mush (it’s a thing), so this will have to suffice.

What to do:

1. Laugh a lot. Laugh at yourself and by all means laugh at your kids. Laughter brings health to the body.
2. Take naps and go to bed when you need to.
3. Accept your fatigue or your weakness and keep doing life anyway.

xoxo,

Jessica

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