I’m taking a short break from my summer series, “The Parenting Transformation,” to share an interesting and thought-provoking statistic about marriage that I recently heard. If you are like me, and you spend multiple hours a week scraping oatmeal off the floor and stepping over LEGO pieces, then your marriage may not be at the top of your (extremely long) to-do list.
Last year on my anniversary, I shared how much had changed between my husband and I over seven years. You know, like how we used to go out on hot dates every weekend, and now a “hot date” is watching TWO episodes of our Netflix show instead of ONE. Smokin!
Funny how things can change.
Well, about a year ago, I was driving in the car listening to the Christian radio station when the DJ shared an interesting fact. He said, “In a recent survey, only 5% of couples reported that they prayed together regularly.”
I got a little stiffness in my throat, and later that night, I said to Todd, “We are the 95%. I hate that, but it’s true.”
I was troubled, and about to go into a nice, long philosophical discussion about all the various reasons why this statistic was true of us. Todd interrupted me with, “Well, let’s just change it.”
Men. So annoyingly simple.
But we did. Trust me…it’s not usually long and meaningful. Sometimes we’re tired, and sort of say the same things. You know how that is.
Here are some thoughts I have on instituting this regular prayer time as a couple.
- If you want to pray together, but you’re not sure how your spouse would respond, just ask. Men, especially, tend to surpass our expectations about things like this. Often they’re more than willing, they just don’t think about it.
- If you’re not sure what to say, remember the “P.R.A.Y.” acronym. Praise (Thank God for all He is.) Repent (ask the Lord to forgive you for the sins you realize and don’t realize) Ask (pray for others – neighbors, people in need internationally or friends, sick people, your Compassion kids) Yourself (lift up each other and your kids).
- Pick a regular time. Since Todd and I have a very, sacred, special routine of watching Netflix together, it works well to pray just before our show starts, always. Is there a time you are both together usually? Morning, after the kids are bed, etc? Same time every day is a good way to start a routine.
Since becoming a mother, I have often struggled to find time to spend time reading my Bible and praying, so I appreciate this time to re-focus at the end of the day.
Have you heard that statistic? Do you think it’s accurate?
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Another tip, because consistency in doing this is something we struggle with, is if you start the habit and then have a period of neglecting it, not to wallow in defeat but to just start again. We don’t have to have a perfect, or even good, record of maintaining a habit of prayer to be able to come to the Lord.
This is what happens with me and my husband. Thank you for sharing. Not only do I wallow in defeat, I get frustrated at him for not remembering. I love this whole article. Thank you thank you!
I just got married in May. After the honeymoon, as we started our first “normal” week, we decided we wanted to start praying together in the mornings. It turns out that neither of us are really morning people, so it has taken some creativity to keep the habit. On the best mornings we pray together over coffee. On good mornings we pray before he walks out the door. On crazy mornings, we’re just trying to get him out the door on time. He has a long commute (up to 2 hours), and I don’t leave for another hour after him, so one of us will call the other and we’ll pray over the phone as he drives down the road. A lot of the time it is short and sweet, but it is one of my favorite things that we do together. I share to let others know that it doesn’t have to fit expectations of “ideal” to be a habit worth cultivating. Doing what works for you is better than not doing anything 🙂
My husband and I struggled with this for a long time, but what finally made the turn for us was trying to pray together twice day. It meant most days we’d pray at least once.