The best parenting advice I ever received, I heard before I was even a parent. And it was from my boss.
My first year out of college, I taught 7th and 8th graders. I was basically as tall as them (shorter, in many cases), about as insecure, and TOTALLY overwhelmed by the curriculum, the kids, and the misbehavior.
One day, I was chatting with nearly shedding tears to my principal. Who knows what had gone wrong that day. Maybe it was the day all the boys stood on their chairs dancing and singing. Maybe it was the day the whole class failed, or one student called me a b^$^%. (I know, right?!?!? MIDDLE SCHOOL!!!)
Anyways.
I was totally overwhelmed. I was mid-sentence whining about their horrible misbehavior, WHEN HE TOOK ME BY THE SHOULDERS AND LOOKED RIGHT INTO MY EYES.
Jessica. Repeat after me. I AM THE TEACHER.
I stared at him. That’s all he said. I smiled and mumbled something and walked away. But I got the point. I am in charge here. My students do not set the tone or choose the path of the day.
I do.
This lesson I never forgot, and it has stuck with me while parenting.
There are days (parts of every day, actually) when I feel my blood pressure rising with the stress and chaos around me. I feel that same sense of powerlessness, confusion, and frustration, when I hear Mr. Horton’s kind voice behind me:
Repeat after me. I am the mother.
And I take a deep breath, and do something proactive. Now sure, I cannot control my kids’ behavior. I cannot control whether they throw tantrums, or choose to obey, or hit each other over the head because someone stole A SPECK OF PAPER I WAS USING. (??!!!!)
BUT. I can control many other things.
- Who administers the food?
- Who drives the car all kinds of places?
- Who owns all the toys, and the power to get rid of said toys?
- Who has the money to do, say, ANYTHING?
It is me, mamas, and it is you.
Repeat after me: I am the mother.
If you want to learn more about this, stay tuned. Over the next few weeks I’ll be talking about:
- My Three Household Rules (And How I Enforce Them)
- The ONE THING That Gets Rid Of Whining in 15 Minutes – It seriously works
- My Three-Word Phrase That INSTANTLY gets rid of boredom – I do this every day, and it is like magic.
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I AM THE MOTHER! I only have one son right now, he is almost four months old, but if he is anything like his daddy I am sure I will need to remember this. Thank you for sharing. I can’t wait to see the next posts!
I agree! I can’t wait to hear the rest! Thanks for this reminder! I’m a single mom of a 5 year old boy. We have to LOVE them enough that we can remain tough even though they test and challenge that toughness every single day! And we are all Teachers as well! Thanks again, Jessica!
Oh I remember all too well my first year teaching fifth grade (half of my students were old enough to have been in middle school). It was so stressful. Your little story brought it right back 😉
I look forward to the rest of your series. We have so much we can learn from each other! Thanks for sharing!
good read
You nailed it! Great job! Once that is straightened out in Mommies’ minds, other things become a bit more clear. (Maybe not easier, but definitely more clear.)
oh.my.god
Jessica you are my heroe!!!
And yes I Am the Mother!!!
Amen! And AMEN!!! (5 kiddos… all under 10)
“I am the mother.” So simple and so powerful.
Love it.
I soooooo needed to read this after the night I had last night…..I AM THE MAMA (BEAR)!!!! oh and Where is the:
My Three Household Rules (And How I Enforce Them)
The ONE THING That Gets Rid Of Whining in 15 Minutes – It seriously works
My Three-Word Phrase That INSTANTLY gets rid of boredom – I do this every day, and it is like magic.
I HAVE TO READ THEM…..please? lol. Love the articles. And also LOVED the “Why Our Children Will Not have Cell Phones” Totally Agree!
What are the links for the other articles? My Three-Word Phrase That INSTANTLY gets rid of boredom? Doesn’t show up in the search on your site?
So true
I love it already!! Please send me news letters