I was late to the Instagram train (story of my life) but once I joined, I was hooked. Way more mom-friendly than Twitter (thank goodness), less political than Facebook (thank goodness again), and less darn-it-now-I’m-craving-buffalo-chicken-dip than Pinterest.
I was hooked by the simple beauty of it.
And I really felt connected to people, like I was sharing snippets of their potty-training, soccer-gaming, date-nighting lives.
Knowing my predisposition to become a tech-addict, I even set up some guidelines for myself on Instagram. I only followed a very few number of real-life friends who made my Insta feed happy. (And a few not-real-life friends like the Pioneer Woman and Joanna Gaines. Because we are basically friends. Basically.)
It went great for awhile. Instagram was my happy place.
Well, last May, we completed our second homeschooling year. When I say “completed,” think, less Michael-Phelps victoriously tagging the wall, and more…someone Not At All Like Michael Phelps, tired, limping, beat-up and barely-finishing. That was me.
I was secretly relieved to be finished.
I kept seeing all these other moms who, apparently rejuvenated by the NINE WHOLE MONTHS OF SCHOOLING THEIR CHILDREN, were creating museums out of their categorized sea shells, and charting their hikes of the Appalachian trail, and relentlessly plunging through summer with MORE WORKBOOKS and MORE PERFECTLY HOMEMADE SENSORY BINS.
And here I was, feeling like if I never had to think of another science activity for seven years, that would be perfectly fine, thank you.
And people were having so much fun in the summer. I should have been happy for them, with their late-night family swim parties, and zoo outings, and neighborhood playdates…but every time I saw one of these posts, I felt terrible that my kids were folding washcloths, or something lame like that.
And of course, summer is a great time to be active, to get in shape. While I myself was nursing a head cold that seemed to last about 47 days, my sisters were doing Burn Boot Camp at 5:15 EVERY SINGLE MORNING. People were running triathlons, and hiking 14-ers. So this made it worse. In addition to being a bad, bad Homeschool Mom, I was obviously lazy. Summer should have been a perfectly good time to finally make homemade kefir, or eat the organic kale I had ostensibly grown. But I was behind there, too.
And maybe the most painful part. Since, you know, I was already in a funk about Life, it made sense that I suddenly and tragically had no friends. I mean, I had thought I had friends. But come to think of it, where was MY BFF hashtag?!? WELL I DIDN’T HAVE ONE!!! And when was the last time we’d double dated with someone?? Why, it had been ages!!!! And goodness gracious, EVERYONE IN THE WORLD was having these exotic getaways with their 14 Bestest Ultimate Friends, and WHERE WERE MY 14 BEST FRIENDS GOING?????
And here was the irony of it all. While I had / have a wonderful life right in front of me, I kept picking up that stupid phone and making myself depressed. Like an addict. It was killing me. It was killing my soul. But I couldn’t resist! I kept scrolling, and feeling worse and worse.
Finally one day, I realized that, somehow, as a 34-year-old Formerly Mature and Positive Human Being, I had lost myself.
I seriously didn’t know if I needed to be making kombucha, playing Balderdash, organizing my Tupperware, writing a novel, hiking the Grand Canyon, or planning dinner for the next 96 days.
I was so confused.
I realized that to have any peace and quiet within my soul, to hear myself, to hear my Father – I needed to quiet the noise.
I got rid of Instagram.
I can’t tell you how wonderful those 7 days were. It’s not like I felt this magical rainbow shining down on me with exact directions for my life.
But I could breathe.
I looked around and realized I knew the things I needed to do, wanted to do. It was a lot of boring, non-Instagramable moments like back scratches and toilet cleanings. Once I was not bombarded with the 467 wonderful things Other Successful People were doing in a day, I could realize the Things I wanted to accomplish.
I do not think social media is inherently evil.
But I think more often than not, people do not realize how it can negatively affect our moods, our mindsets, and our missions.
If you find yourself in a funk – discouraged about yourself, feeling like something needs to change but not sure what – I can promise you that you will never cure it scrolling through Other People’s Proud Moments.
You will cure it by silencing those voices. And instead listening to new ones:
- Our Father
- Our still small voice
I started asking God, “What do you want me to accomplish today? What do I need to change about my parenting, my self?”
And you know what? Weird enough, the funk left.
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“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all, without finding fault…”
Since I’ve been a blog slacker this summer, my engagement and views are down, and my posts are displaying to less people. If you believe in this message, thank you for sharing this post. 🙂
jessica
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I feel like I should apologize for the Appalachian Trail pic.
Ha! No, as long as you’re not doing it with four year-olds, it doesn’t bother me 😉 Although it was impressive!
I love this post- my heart, exactly!! I recently closed my Instagram and Facebook accounts and it’s been heavenly! Now I actually talk with the people I love (spent 1 1/2 on the phone with a dearly loved cousin the other day!!) and I no longer have the life-sucking feeling when I pick up my phone or turn on my computer. I spend so much more time focused on the real people around me and on what I’m doing, rather than giving them half my attention. Life is quieter, more peaceful and it is so much easier to be happy and content. I’ve had a blog for 5 years and, although it’s still there, I have finally gotten to where it’s an “extra” in my life. When everything else is done and I want to write, I do. Otherwise, it’s just another distraction from what truly matters. I can never get back all the hours upon hours I’ve wasted online blogging, Facebooking and Instagramming (is that even a word??), but I can be sure not to waste anymore of the time and energy and emotion that should be spent on family, real friends and worthwhile, real-life things. 🙂
Thank you, Justyn! I’m kind of jealous of you quitting it all. 🙂
I love reading your posts. So real and funny. Thank you.
Aw. Thank you, Sarah 🙂
I can relate but it was Facebook and I’ve been off it for years now and don’t miss it one little bit. I’m not on Instagram or Twitter. I just blog and that’s enough for me. Great post!
Love this post! I gave up all social media for that exact reason a couple of months ago and I LOVE it!!! Now I just enjoy being a mom with kids, not stopping to take photos to make myself feel relovent. It’s freeing!
well said, Erika. 🙂
I wholeheartedly agree with you, Jessica. That’s also been something that God has been convicting me of (especially for the past year), to stay away from the social media and draw closer to Him which will give the ultimate satisfaction. In my case, it wasn’t Instagram, but Facebook. I can’t wait to get away from it and breathe like you breathed after cutting it off, and feel free like you did. What a redemptive story! And a story of overcoming and victory! And it is hard, it’s addictive but I am so encouraged by you. And hey, consider me as a friend. This blog won you one more real friend who’s having the exact same and real struggles 🙂
Ha! Thank you Emma! One more friend! 🙂
Love this! Life is all about being present and social media has a way of stealing that. I’m shooting for lots of memories when I get old because the time spent with my children is precious and fleeting.☺
I got rid of Facebook this summer for the same reasons! Well sort of. I’m not so impacted that everyone week else’s life looks so great…. I’m just distracted completely from my life. Thank goodness your posts come straight to my inbox! I’m just an addict. The scrolling scrolling scrolling was killing my life. What little time I have to spend on friend, I want to spend in real relationship. What are you guys up to next week??
Ha! Seeing your new house!!! 😉
Very well said! Thanks for letting the rest of us know we aren’t the only ones struggling with this! <3
This is a great post; I love your sense of humor, too!
Traci
I am in shock now, I just close my Facebook account like a month ago. My husband been ask me for many months to do that. At the beginning I was in panic when he ask me, because my answer was I have all my friends (I am from South America,living the American Dream with the bless of the Lord) my connection, they love see picture of our family!! But I start praying the Lord to give me wisdom and I decide to close and I can say I am free from that big evil technology, specially Facebook.
I am a stay home mom and really busy wife and mom and now when I see back I know technology is a good tool but we must to be carful how we include this in our life.
Really love your blog and it is good to know that I am not the only one who struggled with technology.
This is A-MAZ-ING! I’ve done the same and need to do it again. While I love seeing what others are up to, I myself get confused on what I really need to do for ME, not what others are doing. It’s so easy to compare and make ourselves feel unaccomplished. Thanks for sharing your point of view on this matter!
I loved when you said, “I looked around and realized I knew the things I needed to do, wanted to do.” I’ve been struggling with this! I know all the things I have to do like chores and such. But I don’t know what I really feel like doing when i have a few moments of free time. It’s so strange because I didn’t have that problem when I was younger or when I was in college. I have hobbies and interests but I feel like it’s daunting to start something! It’s definitely a funk I’m in! Thank you so much for this blessing of a post! God bless!
I gave up Facebook 5 years ago I’ve tried twitter but never got In to it and I tried Instagram which I have tried a few times but also given it up. I honestly don’t miss it at all. I don’t like the comparison and the evil that springs up in my heart. So I’m much happier without any social media, except Pinterest.
I am no fan of social Media and most people won’t admit to the negative feelings it stirs up in their hearts.
I was feeling this same way about some images I saw on Instagram last night. I’d like to know where my 14 bestest friends are to go to concert or on a vaccation with too! So obviously you are still on Instagram. How do you continue to be on it without the getting in the same funk?
This. This sums it up. Thank you for writing this! Sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one who struggles with comparing over social media like this. What you said, “I seriously didn’t know if I needed to be making kombucha, playing Balderdash, organizing my Tupperware, writing a novel, hiking the Grand Canyon, or planning dinner for the next 96 days.” That is what I struggle with! I always want to “do it all” like everyone else is, but then I end up being depressed and affecting my kids and my husband. I know Jesus has a specific path for each of us but it’s a daily battle for me to compare myself with others.
Thank you for blogging about this, I have found myself feeling this exact way. I just closed my instagram ( day 1 down, i miss it 😣), and deactivated my facebook (woohoo) to find my inner voice and be more present with my family and myself.
I was beginning to feel like I was the only one to feel this way. I am glad to read it worked for you and looking forward to it helping me.
Happy New year!!!
Aw, good for you, Lisa! Best of luck!
I am so with you..almost exactly…except I’m slightly! Older. Thanks for writing.
I love this sooooo much! I unfollowed pretty everyone on Instagram and only occasionally post some updates on there myself. So not actually quitting…just limiting my use and I feel so much better. I think too many people use it incorrectly and it’s just another comparison tool.