Every once in a while (probably around the same time of the month, if you get my drift) I feel those old, nagging nudges of “you’re not good enough.” It comes so subtly. Before I even realize it, I’m walking around depressed about SOME STUPID THING I’m not doing, or not doing well enough.
I’m sure we are not the first generation of women to feel discouraged about our performance as human beings. But somehow, I imagine THIS generation of women has a particular proclivity to the I’m-A-Failure Slump.
After all, never before have we women been expected to do so much. To produce annual, color-coordinated family pictures, cook up Instagram-worthy, non-GMO kid-friendly family dinners, throw Disney-themed parties for fully potty-trained toddlers – all while we run successful side businesses, mind you.
I know in my soul of souls that it doesn’t make sense. That’s its ludicrous. But still, every few months will find me forlorn on the pillowcases, moping to my (ever-patient) husband that: “I’m just a failure. I should just quit my blog. And our closet looks horrible. And I look horrible in all my clothes. And everything is just awful, awful, awful.”
Friends, the problem is not that we are failures, but that we are not content to be successful in a few things, that matter.
What Doesn’t Matter is enslaving us. But this, my friends? This is MY call to FREEDOM.
It doesn’t matter.
- It doesn’t matter that I have gray hairs. It doesn’t matter that I never know what to do with my hair.
- It doesn’t matter that I don’t have skinny jeans that fit me or a cute little blazer with the perfect handbag.
- It doesn’t matter that our Christmas cards aren’t matte, and my baby books are horribly behind.
- It doesn’t matter that So-And-So is selling all those products and evidently a colossal Home-Business Success.
- It doesn’t matter that I’m plugging away on my little blog, though I’ll never be as “It” as Jen Hatmaker or as humble-wise as Ann Voskamp.
- It doesn’t matter that I need pictures on my walls, and my guest room needs new bedding, and I haven’t dusted my blinds since last April.
- It doesn’t matter that my house never seems to be as tidy as my sister’s.
- It doesn’t matter that I don’t get pedicures, and I’m getting wrinkles around my eyes.
- It doesn’t matter that I’m not in shape anymore, or haven’t bought eyeshadow since 2011.
- It doesn’t matter that my floor needs to be mopped, my nails need to be painted, my car needs to be vacuumed, and my legs need to be tanner.
- It doesn’t matter that I’m not as peppy, skinny, trendy, witty, savvy, or crunchy as the imaginary Jessica in my head.
But you know what does matter?
It is this.
- I have a husband, a big bunch of family, and a handful of friends who love me. period. On sick days, on grumpy days, on fat days, on lazy days, on days when I’m not very lovable…I AM loved.
- I have three little kids who think I’m the best mommy ever.
- I have a husband who forgets all my over-dramatic moments, loves our lame, boring life, and somehow – beyond all logic – looks at me like I’m still his hot wife from the Rehearsal Dinner Pictures.
- I’m not the perfect mom… But I’m a good one. My kids get (mostly) nourishing meals, hugs when they’re sad, fun things to do, and when I fail them miserably, I ask for forgiveness.
- My sins are wiped clean.
- I am a child of God, and He made me.
- I’m redeemed, and safe, and spending eternity with my Loving Father.
- No matter how sick/tired/worthless/ugly/useless/distracted/grumpy/sub-par I may feel on any given day, I Am Loved, by the ones who matter, and the ONE who matters most.
Go confidently into today, friends.
You have NOTHING to be ashamed of.
~
“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?”
Romans 8:31-32
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Amen, sister! Beautifully written! I’m learning the same things lately.
Amen! Oh, that I would remember this when I fall into the comparison trap! Have a great day!
This is such an encouraging post and just what I needed today! Thank you for sharing your heart to all of us! 🙂
Yes, and I say again, yes! I’m seven months pregnant and so with you on hard days, fat days etc. We’re so blessed to have loving, supportive husbands who pursue true love and little ones who think nothing beats their mother. And, the love of a Father who keeps us close in His covenant. What could be better?
Counting our blessings!!Well written!
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Wow!!! I love these words you’ve shared! I feel greatly encouraged and uplifted! Thank you so much for sharing this!!! I want to check out more of your blog!
Oh how I love this! I hate how easily I can get caught up in the things I don’t do or have that are so “perfect”… What I do have, my incredible husband, gorgeous daughter, and loving Heavenly Father, are truly everything I need and are “perfect” to me. Thank you for this post. What a wonderful reminder, it’s so freeing!
Loved this Jessica ❤️ A good perspective goes a long way!
Seriously we could be best friends! LOL! You wore this for me I’m pretty sure. 😉 thank you. I needed this today. I love your honestly and transparency. Thank you thank you thank you!!!
I sooooo needed this message at this time. Amen!
Ahh yes! Amen to that! So wonderfully written. Thank you for those reminders to keep in prospective. I’m a single momma of a 5 year old boy who tries my patience every single day and I do fail miserably some days. I pray for a patient, loving, helpful husband that you are referring to as it is so hard to do both roles. Your blog is an encouragement to me! Thank you!
Oh my, this was totally me yesterday! If you makes you feel better, I don’t even have a guest room (that I’ve dreamed of having since high school) and after 4 years in our new house, I still have paper blinds or nothing on the windows at all because the paper ones fell off! 🙂 Thanks so much for this – I really needed it!! (and I read it aloud to my husband who listened quietly, but I know he’s saying on the inside “Amen sister, preach it!!
Amen! Thank you for this reminder! We have purpose and we have a God that loves us unconditionally.
I’ve just become a mum. After a few hard days and lots of tears (me and baby!) I decided to head to Pinterest to find out what makes a mother, with the intention to encourage myself and give me inspiration to be a better person. I stumbled across this blog and it speaks volumes to me! I have felt like such a failure at this motherhood thing. I thank God new babies don’t remember much, as I am constantly questioning if what I’m doing is right. Your blog entry above has been such an encouragement… knowing that other women go through this. That I’m not alone. Thank God for people like you, who are willing to expose themselves to uplift others. Be blessed.
Great post!
thank you so much!
So true! very beautifully written. Just what is going on in every Moms mind.
This post blessed me tremendously! The goodness of the Lord just oozes out of my life..!!