Ectopic Pregnancy: My Story, Part I

Because this story is long, I’m sharing it in several stages. This is Part I.

If you tend to be a private sort of person (like my mom), you are probably thinking I’m bonkers for posting my story on here. Who would do that, voluntarily? I guess to some people, sharing surgical and emotional details is a worst nightmare; to others, it’s therapy.

I’m in the second camp, obviously.

It feels like a whirlwind I’ve been through – a surreal one. And I process things via writing. I write, because it helps me heal.

I also write because I have hope that some day another woman will read my story, and that through it she’ll feel one fraction less alone. Here’s to hoping.

A few weeks ago, I found I was pregnant, in a weird way. I had gone to my primary care physician, an awkward, nerdy, and compassionate kind of man, for a check-up. After a few minutes of questions and small talk, he informed me that my urinalysis was positive for pregnancy. He wasn’t sure how far along, he couldn’t tell me anything else, and since I’d had some bleeding recently, he wasn’t sure it was “viable.” From the get-go, it seemed odd, and off.

But still, exciting. We have two boys, four and two, and it’s no secret we’d like more. But my husband and I told no one. I made an OB appointment for a few weeks later, when I thought we’d be six weeks and might hear a heartbeat.

We’d wait til then, then tell everyone.

About a week before my scheduled appointment, my stomach felt funny. I was having what I thought were gas pains. I joked to my husband about having had too many beans for dinner.

A few hours later, I woke up at midnight to excruciating pain. It felt like stomach-bug pains, but I didn’t feel sick. I felt like I had to go to the bathroom, and throw up, and my stomach was on fire.

For an hour, I sat in the bathroom, light-headed and doubled over, with jabbing, frightening pains in my lower abdomen, and awful-feeling nausea. I remember telling Todd that I thought the pregnancy could be ectopic. I told him I wanted to call 911, my mom, the doctor’s office…someone.

He convinced me to sit on a chair in our bedroom and rest for a while. I eventually fell asleep, and the pains went away.  The next morning, there was only a subtle cramping, and the vague memory of the weird night we’d had. But I was concerned about what had happened, so I called my mom that morning and told her everything.

The next two days were the same story. On again, off again pain. Nausea, weird cramping, and discomfort in laying on my left side. I’d go for hours feeling fine, but when it was severe, I couldn’t walk or talk – just hunch over in pain.

I kept denying it could be an ectopic pregnancy, because the pain would come and go. That wouldn’t happen, right? But still, I knew something really weird was happening in my body.

About three days after the pain had first started, I had had enough. I didn’t care if it was to early hear a heartbeat, or I wouldn’t be able to surprise everyone with my special news…I knew it was time to see a doctor.

It was 8:00 in the morning when I called my mom and told her she needed to come over and watch the boys. I honestly wasn’t sure I’d make it until she came. My stomach hurt so badly, and I felt so out-of-it and nauseous. I kept feeling fearful I would pass out.

I couldn’t wait for her to arrive, so I slowly and painfully packed up some things for the boys, and walked across the street to my sister’s house. I think I just didn’t want to be alone. {Praise. The. Lord. for my sisters being so close, and so many wonderful neighbors. I would have been so much more terrified without this community around.}

I remember being in so much pain that I couldn’t carry the little plastic potty for my son who was potty-training. I had to have Sam, my oldest, finish carry it across the street.

I almost collapsed into my sister’s. I spilled out the story, of being maybe-pregnant and maybe-ectopic and just in so. much. pain. I sat hunched in a chair, totally unhelpful, totally helpless. I felt really badly for her, because I think I really freaked her out.

I remember the OB nurse calling me back on the phone, and asking me lots of questions. She told me to come in right away, and that they would see me as soon as they could.

I hobbled back home to get the keys and drive myself to the office. Looking back, I should have had someone else drive me…But I was so anxious to get there quickly, and not thinking clearly enough for a better option.

I got in the car, feeling grateful that the excruciating pain had passed. I just kept praying that it would stay away until I had arrived safely at the doctors.

Click here for Part II.

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This post is linked to www.raisingarrows.net, http://proverbs14verse1.blogspot.com/, christianmommyblogger.com, myjoyfilledlife.com.

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