The Secret To Being Happy When You’re Not

For the first 22 years of my life, here are the worst five things that happened to me:

• My grandmother’s dog died.
• I didn’t make the cheerleading squad.
• The boy I had a crush on didn’t like me (and repeat, about three times)
• My mom was really mean to me that one time…so mean I had to spend thirty minutes crying to my goldfish. yeah. That bad.
• I wanted a computer for my birthday, and got a magic kit instead.

In case the point isn’t painfully obvious, I’ll spell it out for you – I was spoiled.

Not a spoiled little brat with bad parents, but just bad at dealing with problems, because I haven’t had that many.

Fortunately, life eventually offers plenty of character-building opportunities, also known as “crappy things you have to deal with.”

They started for me in college, when I realized was engaged to someone I shouldn’t marry. This was quite the trauma to sheltered, spoiled me.

Then life really slapped me in the face when I had kids. Wowzers. What a wake-up call that life is not easy, and life is not all about you.

Most recently, I’ve been blessed with a few miscarriages, a surgery, and a million other normal annoyances.

But despite all that, I’ve found it.

The secret to happiness.

And it’s not ten steps, or five steps, or even two. It’s one.

Accept that troubles are part of life.

It might seem obvious, but think about it: How much of our whining, and self-pity, and misery is due to this: the simple fact that we feel it’s surprising, unjust, and unfair that something bad is happening to us?

When in fact, it shouldn’t come as a surprise at all.. As a Christian, I know by heart that verse: “In this world you will have troubles…”

Well, how accepting help?

It helps me in two ways.

1. When I realize trouble is the norm, I immediately realize whatever trouble I have could be way worse. Choose your trouble, I’ve been thinking. We all have to have something…couldn’t your trouble be way worse? This is especially helpful in the little things that make us unhappy. You have to have some hardship…aren’t you glad it’s not worse?
2. Also, when I realize trouble is the norm, I stop wasting my time fighting it, and instead move on with my life.

I work, despite my problem.

I laugh, despite my problem.

I serve, despite my problem.

I’ve determined that when my kids are raised, it’s not important that they had a mom who had a really good life. What is important is that they watched their mom love well, and serve well, and rejoice well, while life was hard.

Now, that’s a mission I can accomplish.

 

 This post is linked to Christian Mommy Blogger.

 

 

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